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Am I...maturing??

OK, I have no idea what has happened to me or how I have came to this way of thinking...it just...happen... These days what do we see most on the media or any social media platform that broad casts "news"? Anyone? Wars Fights Famine Terror attacks internationally Terror attacks nationally Neglect of children Neglect of the elderly Neglect of the ones who needs help Political elects verbally brutalising the opposition Quantitative Easing  Negative things over and over and over...gets...upsetting. Then something clicked in my skull (metaphorically of course)...where am I hateful? To whom am I negative to? It hit me, I have always openly admit to hating my first ex-girlfriend, I have hated the way I was raised as a kid, I hated the ways my brothers were prioritised over me...you get the picture, I am a hateful person...yet I appear to be quite happy...working away and minding my own business. Sure I help friends and other people to get stuff done a...

Tough decision

Oh man...oh man. Looks like I just can't catch a break. Ok, as we know my highly respected teacher in Ju Jutsu of 13 years past away a few months ago in June. As his last gift to me, his will told Sensei McGregor that once things have been settled, I was to be summoned back to the School to receive a grading. Now, I only just had my 3rd Degree Grading not so long ago so I was a little confused to why another grading so soon. Out of respect for my former teacher and the confidence he had in me, my other teachers and fellow Ju Jutsuka, I took the grading. Mind you, I've not been training for 2 years and not in my greatest form...half way through the grading...BAM!!! An on point punch to the ribs by my grading partner Stuart and I was winded...out for 10mins...when I caught my breathe, my new partner Connor...raised his leg for a right, round house kick...as I tried to shuffle out the way...I inhaled...sharp pain coursed through my rib cage on the right side...saw the kick comin...

Drained...

It has been over a year and a bit since my last proper break. Yeah sure I get a day off per week but that isn't enough to allow the fatigued body of mine to rest up fully. I'm already a full time short and by this time on Wednesday...I'll be one full time and a part time shorter... Don't get me wrong...i WANT to have a break but the functioning of the business has high priority too. It is one of these horrible situations where one must give up something for the greater good. I can put food on the table, pay my bills on time and purchase whatever I want with relative ease but my body is crying out in pain for rest...resting would be luxurious yet it is an option I do not have for the time being...sometimes I wonder if the plave will run without me for a week... Then again, I strongly believe that a manager is suppose to be someone who creates a system that can run itself smoothly...with OR without the person. I guess I want it to be like that juat now... Fingers cr...

We have lost a legend. Goodbye Master...

Friday 1st July, Yesterday was Thursday 30th June 2016, the day of my Master/Sensei's funeral. It was Wednesday 22nd June at 10:35pm that my martial arts headmaster,  Grand Master Shidoshi Graham Whyte passed away from Cancer. As I sit here now typing this after a day's work, sipping my beer, calming down and condensing my thoughts of him...finally can I write something. Fellow students, juniors/seniors of the school, friends of my master were all very emotional, especially his wife Lena. I was bestowed upon the honour of being one of the six pallbearer that carried our Master/Sensei's coffin to prepare him for the journey ahead. Maybe I am not very sensitive to these situations or maybe my peers had a deeper emotional connection with our Master/Sensei, I honestly didn't feel upset...broken or unhappy until the service... You see, the service was held in a Church but with a Japanese twist to it, we the pallbearers remained standing next to our Master/Sensei thro...

Split road...

As I am writing this my mind is being scrambled...I have been in Edinburgh now for nearly two years after leaving my home town. Today my folks came to the city and visited me at work and had a small discussion with me... It turns out that the tenants that was renting my folks restaurant  can no longer run the business and is packing it in, so my folks wants to know if I'd be interested in going back... Problem is this...I am now very much settled in the capital city...I cannot just abandon my position here at my current work (which is also family business)...yet I cannot turn my back on my parents... If I remain, I shall continue to enjoy what the city can offer and probably be quite stable career wise and financially in about 5 years. If I choose to go back...there is ONE HELL of a mess that must be cleaned up after those tenants...let alone having the gas and electricity lines checked for faults...carpets may need to be ripped out and relayed (Honestly...cleaning the darn...

Upon pondering

Am I happy with what I have? That depends on how you view the situation. I have a flat, I have a car that is paid off, I have a job that pays fairly, I quite enjoy my job except for the hours, I have an awesome girlfriend, I have a few flatmates and I live in the city! The flat is a humble 3 bedroom flat located in the suburbs of Edinburgh. It isn't the most flashiest of homes, I've been getting tradesmen to do work on it for me...windows...new storage space...gas cooker...door adjustments...painting of new door frame...new front door...a drive way and generally tidying up after myself. Being in the flat for 2 months with most of the necessary work almost complete...I can say it is becoming a place I enjoy coming back to after a day at work or somewhere to zone out and chill! Car...I love my SEAT Ibiza FR Black Edition. Sadly I am having trouble with everyone else, I live on a street where parking can be an issue and cars passing by can be very close...back in September some...

5th June 2015

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh hell yes! Yup yup yup yup yup!!!!!!! It is about FLIPPING TIME!!!!!!!!!!! **~~~~big breathe in~~~~** Well...now that I got that out the way. I am happy to say that I have now bagged myself a flat to live in! Sadly that came at the cost of selling my other flat in another city...the one b...