Events in my life.

As I am writing this, she is going through my mind...who is she? How is she doing this? Why is it that I can hear her voice when she isn't near me? What is this intoxication? Am I poisoned? Have I been caught up in somebody's web? I want her...i want to see her...be around her...I am poisoned...and it seems it only grows worse and worse with each passing hour... How did this poison get injected into me? Will I be able to regain my right state of mind or will this intoxicating yet slightly euphoric state take over me completely... I am struggling to keep my mind at peace...Poisoned Euphoria...something that is bad and gets worse but makes you feel so good... I like having her in my head...that smile...her scent...her voice... I may have became a slave... How deep does this poison go...?

The past few nights has been horrendous for my sleep...mother needs to book flights, she seems unable to get the flights that suits her...,relatives visiting late (i mean after 12am late, while I must be up at 7am latest)... and their constant chatter, with the occasional laughter wake me from my almost deep sleep stage! Yet they always tell me to be more considerate to those who sleep for they have work the next day... At least I've got a night out planned, that's something to look forward to as well as a couple of drinks and meeting new people! Viva Le Weekend!!!

It's Monday morning, I just woke up from what might be the worst dream I've had since I'm able to dream...in the dream I was in a hospital...I think I was a student or some kind of volunteer for some kind of drug test. I was on the phone to one of my brothers for a general catch up before hanging up the call due to lack of reception. I was passing a room, where the door was left a jar, I saw a young woman being examined by a doctor...as I kept passing, my best mate Adam, who was is a grey suit with a most sad and blank expression passed by without a word...suddenly my heart sank, I turned around and burst into that room... It was Lin laying on the bed both eyes barely opened but still tearing...i didn't know what was going on, the doctor and the nurse in the room was also tearing uncontrollably...Even my eyes started to tear up...I'm guessing the doctor and the nurse were friends of Lin because I've not heard of hospital staff tearing in front of a patient... ...

So today I went to work as usual...whilst minding my own business, the manager comes up to me and asks if I'm up for a task. A task that requires me to drive approximately 103 miles from work to another one of our branches in Kilmarnock. Without hesitation, I agreed...I took over a Seat Ibiza Toca, metallic blue...it was a good car to drive. It doesn't do sporty but still not bad on the motorway...think i must of averaged about 50 miles to the gallon. Upon arrival, I was given a Citroen Dispatch Van to return to my original branch where one of my colleagues was expecting to sell it. So, in it I went, drove it a fuelling station, to then proceed to the closest Burger King! :) (even i need to eat, and it took a little over one and a half hours to go one way!) Shortly upon returning to my work with the van in perfect working order...the customer bought it! Kinda makes me feel good to know my efforts wasn't wasted and the buyer liked it that much! Once home, i was pretty hu...

Since I've left the catering business I have been able to have the day or evening of my Birthday off. Yet I still feel the same...every year, the days leading up to it, I get very irritated and frustrated. On the morning, when i wake, I think to myself..."great, another working day"! For many years it has been like that for me, working or working on the day itself. I guess that's why I have no affinity to my birthday because year in year out its work, work, work. This year is no different yet I'm beginning to yearn for a little attention on the day... When I was with Lin...she'd pop round and try to arrange something for us. Bless her...and I just went along because it was easy and she's made effort. The most memorable birthday was my 21st, Lin and I was together officially for 3 days and my best mate, Adam was there! Lin made a malteser cake for me...from deep within my soul, a tear was shed... My immediate family was half was across the world in Hong...

For most of you who don't know me personally, I can befriend pretty much anyone after a short while in knowing you. And if you needed help, company or anything else...I would be quite happy to help, you see, I've inherited this trait from my mother yet lately, I've only began to realise that I've been used in many ways... If you take my old work for example, the owners paid me 200 less in comparison to his previous chef per month. I did twice the work, knew what to do, when to do, didn't need accommodation nor or little things... A certain ex workmate of mine wanted me to help her get a job at the local night club, i knew the owner of the club, had a few words and got her an interview... The ex workmate's friend started an argument with me for no reason, she unfriended me on facebook... These are just a few examples of my harmless nature being abused...only realising it now causes me to sicken myself. I think life is trying to get me to evolve so that only t...