Events in my life.

Oh man, I have just cocked up with Michelle AGAIN! ...Cathy and Michelle are friends...and I have used similar words in texts to both of them... I don't really know what to do now. Michelle's trust is hard to earn and now she says, she doesn't trust me...Understandable. ***BUT in my defence, I am NOT tied down to either girl AND I didn't chase them both at the same time either. So some slack should be given.*** She says it was fun to have had the attention but couldn't see us passing on the "Friend" stage....FUCK I HAVE BEEN "FRIEND-ZONED"...is what I'm thinking.... It is SO shit that I can't talk to anyone about it...too embarrassing ...yet it must go somewhere...I hope venting out here wouldn't bite me in the ass later.... ...fuck...

Its has been two weeks since I moved to Edinburgh, life here is more or less like how I am accustomed to, work hard and rest. Don't have much free time for myself...do I miss free time? Of course I do but only a little. I do miss sleeping in a bit later, time to read, training and being a bit more social with others! I suppose what is most important at the moment is to build up my financial foundation again and continue on with my plan of buying apartments/flats for renting out. That way, I can afford to work less and still have decent income coming in! At work, there are 4 distinct groups; The Heads: The owners, although I am related to them I do take my duties seriously and don't slack. So far, they've been like my third set of parents and are quite "lax" with me. The Full Time Waiting Staff: Gordon, Peter and Myself (Although I don't "belong" to this group), I feel that these guys (EXCLUDING MYSELF) try to do only what is needed...what do I ...

Interestingly, my move to Edinburgh has brought about a few things that has surprised me. It has been a week since I've moved here, living with my Aunt, Uncle and 3 younger female cousins is quite...comfortable and family like. The feeling I get from them is...in a way...the feeling I've missed or not had from my own family. The Aunt and Uncle talks and asks how I'm settling, the younger cousins and I talk, exchange cheek and...they feel like the siblings I've wanted! Also they all play a part in house hold chores. Secondly...I've stopped chasing after Cathy. I finally realised, being persistent to the wrong person can be tiring and may very well ruin a good friendship. I think she knew from the start that I expressed interest in her but never gave any signs as a way of being nice to softly decline my advances. Fair enough. Thirdly, Michelle and I when we first met bickered at any chance we had! When meeting up...through What'sapp....text...you name it! Yet.....

So facebook now has a Facebook movie creator that makes a mini movie of your most liked, shared and first photos... Don't think I'll join in this craze. It's not that I don't like it, for me, Facebook is where i share SOME memories and photos so it ain't a "complete" memory movie as such. I've had bad experiences that I don't share, bad things I've seen that I don't share...and most of all...past girlfriends that won't be included. Thinking back, I did have some good times with all my past girlfriends. It was only to my own fault that I couldn't have kept them or end it on my terms and remain in touch to an extent. Based solely on that reason, I will not participate in the Facebook movies but I'm sure alot of people will say it's the Bee's Knees and all lol

Well it's been a fast two days at my new york place and today will be my third day. I'm still pretty tired from last night as it was busy. It's either coffee or red bull, there's no days off for me this week but i'll get two off the following week. I've survived worse :) O(∩_∩)O (≧∇≦)

I've had a moment...one of those where I want to shoot myself... I've been messaging Michelle today and asked if I can see her for 5mins when she's free. My friends and I was out in the City around that time so I asked Michelle to meet up at the Casino at 8pm, since that is when she finishes her yoga class...my phone was nearly flat of juice and wasn't in the best of areas for reception. 8pm came, I was waiting but Michelle didn't turn up...no text...no call...by 8.29pm I left the Casino...two messages came at once...one saying Mitchell was heading over from Yoga...second one...she left because I wasn't there...and she needed to go home. It's my fault for not being clear...cocked up what could of been something.

My chief instructor, Sensei Whyte, in the all black suit, my second instructor, Sensei McGregor with the blue top, Kevin, with the cap, my sempei and 3rd in line for the school and Diane, also my sempei, one of only two female sempei that I'll acknowledge. Miss the school doesn't begin to describe the hole it'll leave...I've been with them for 12 years. 12 very fun, interesting, intense, hard, bruised and well spent years. I look forward to the day I can return.  Farewell for now everyone, train hard.