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I'm afraid...

Within one year, one brother and 3 cousins of mine have proposed to their other half and gotten engaged...

I've always said I am a firm believer of not believing in being "engaged" as when you are in a relationship with someone...it is practically like being "engaged" but without the ring! Why need it? I mean it is so pointless and waste of savings to buy it! What if the other half says "no" to your proposal? You'd be left with a ring...it will remind you of your failure and you won't even be able to a full refund on it...

That is the story I tell...
...
...
...
...
...truth is...
...let us rewind back to late Spring of 2006...

It was a warm late Spring, my parents & brothers were on Holiday and as usual, I was left behind to watch over the business and to mind my studies. My girlfriend at the time was on half term break so she popped up to visit me. Days before she did...with a couple of months of savings, I bought an engagement ring, it was of white gold and had a set of 7 diamonds. I remember it well as it was the only one available in that style and it caused me a bit of trouble trying getting it sized correctly for her. I can't remember where or how I proposed but she said yes and wore that ring with pride.

Two years later...we broke up. She never offered to give me the ring back as it was jewellery to her. If it was given back, it would only serve as a failure trophy...my mind twisted and hell bent detested "engagements", "proposals" and "rings".

I guess that is partly the reason why I never bought ring like jewellery for my 2nd ex.

But with my current partner...I feel...afraid...she is nothing like my previous girlfriends...she is more caring and compatible with me...yet I fear the events of my history repeating...

I am very happy with her. She is my soul mate...but I cannot bring myself to "propose" to her...

I guess I will find a different way to get to the same goal. Heck...maybe we can have a better honeymoon if I don't buy an engagement ring! She doesn't know the story to why I "hate" engagements...she thinks I'm not romantic and stubborn...but I like how she makes a fuss over this small detail just to be with me...

I'm in deep love with this one...

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