Guys and girls,
This I think is predominantly a Chinese thing or at least I think it is due to none of my non-Chinese friends experiencing anything of a similar sort.
From what I've come to understand from my relatively few years of existence...the kids in each family have their niches. The older ones takes care of the younger ones and the younger ones either act like spoilt brats or grow to respect their older siblings for the care they provided. Then everything is good! Fab!!
For myself...I don't know why it is...different to quite the other end of the scale...I am the eldest of 4 boys, I've taken care of and to a degree...raised my brothers while in my earlier years. Parents worked long hours so it was my duty as such...when I grew tall enough (...literally) , I was working in their Take Away Shop...later when they had a restaurant...i worked there too. My brothers mainly worked in the restaurant part time too, when times were tough...however...that's kinda where my bitterness begins.
Since my early teens, I've pretty much worked weekends...week in, week out, year in, year out...getting a weekend off to go socialise with my friends was like swearing at my folks! You see, back in the Take Away days, Bro 1 and I took alternative weekends at work...(or at least it started that way...)...it was alright, I had two weekends in each month to do whatever I wanted...or so I thought...
When he wanted to go to his friend's party or something...I was told to cover. When he had is football or badminton games...I was told to cover. When he didn't "feel" like working...I was told to cover.
When I wanted to socialise with my friends...I was effectively told to fuck off and get to work because nobody could cover. When I had my martial arts lessons or wanted to go to a martial arts seminar...I was effectively told to fuck off and get to work because nobody could cover. ONLY when I was ill would ANYONE say..."alright you take a day off work"...seriously...a day...people don't be ill for one day and recover on the next. Its not like a am a computer than has a virus...you run an anti-virus programme and I'll just "be better!"
When they had the restaurant...it was pretty much the end of my non-existent, shred of social-life. From later years of High School...right through University...I worked part-time on weekends...and full time during the holidays. During tourist season...I literally finish Uni at 5pm, rush back home, drop things off, get changed and rush back to the restaurant by 6pm...
Every penny I earned from work was literally spend on myself getting to and from Uni and materials for my course.
When I graduated back in 2008...guess where I worked? Yes, restaurant...from 2008 till July 29th 2013, I've been there full time. I took care of anything and everything that was wrong or needed to be dealt with.
My younger brothers on the other hand...can go through Uni without needing to fund themselves financially because my folks would give them money every month...when they spent it, they could ask for more and more will be given...
For reasons unknown to me, I seem to be the black sheep of the "family". If I ever asked for anything, its met with a massive (metaphoric) slap to my face swiftly followed by a "HELL NO". After some kind of talking me down, its then followed by "you are useless" and "why can't you be more like your brother!?"
1) I FUCKING GAVE UP A LIFE TO KEEP YOUR BUSINESS RUNNING YET YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO SAY THAT I, AM, "USELESS"!?
2) "WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE YOUR BROTHER?!" How about...I am NOT my brother. How about...I am Hakuren?!
Who the FUCK did you think looked after YOUR businesses when YOU TWO FUCK FACES wanted to FUCK OFF SOMEWHERE ON HOLIDAY WITH MY BROTHERS?!!??!?! ME. WHO THE FUCK TOOK CARE OF ANY PLUMBING, ELECTRICAL, BILLS OR OTHER SHIT THAT NEEDED DEALT WITH WHEN YOU WERE SOMEWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD ENJOYING YOURSELVES?!?! ME!!!!!
YOU SOLD YOUR BUSINESS TO SOME DUMB FUCKS AND EFFECTIVELY SOLD ME WITH IT TO THEM BECAUSE "They will need somebody to teach them the ropes blah blah blah"
Yet I am the useless one...really? Me? Useless? The one who gave about 10 years of his life to your business...useless? Any accomplishments I have is completely out shined by any tiny thing my brothers do...
I CAN ONLY SAY THIS.
FUCK YOU. FUCK YOUR BUSINESS. FUCK THE PEOPLE YOU SOLD IT TO BECAUSE I HATE THEIR LIVING GUTS! FUCK THAT PRISON YOU HELD ME IN SO LONG FOR!!!
As soon as I said I got a job as a Sales Executive...I saw the look of disapproval...disappointment and disgust. "SALES!? That's not even a real industry or do people earn a living from!"
It'll be my first REAL job you bastards, must you piss and shit on EVERY LITTLE THING THAT MAKES ME FEEL SLIGHTLY GOOD ABOUT MYSELF FROM?!?!?!?!
I will enjoy it and earn from it! Support myself and move the fuck out your place! Then you can deal with your own shit or get one of YOUR proud three sons to try and sort it. I never much felt like one of your sons...I'll fend for myself.
I am "sorry" that I am not an engineer like Bro 1, I am "sorry" that I ain't a computer programmer like Bro 2 and I am "sorry" that I can't be like Bro 3 who is heading to University to do "Chemistry/Pharmaceuticals"
I apologise for ONLY studying Biology and was only able to run your little empire!
Maybe when I succeed from this job and move out the house, you'll be happy to have the "useless" one out of the way.
If any smart ass wonders why am I ranting on a Blog instead of "talking" to my parents about "HOW I FEEL". Then go jump off a cliff! Short answer is I AM NOT one of my brothers.
This I think is predominantly a Chinese thing or at least I think it is due to none of my non-Chinese friends experiencing anything of a similar sort.
From what I've come to understand from my relatively few years of existence...the kids in each family have their niches. The older ones takes care of the younger ones and the younger ones either act like spoilt brats or grow to respect their older siblings for the care they provided. Then everything is good! Fab!!
For myself...I don't know why it is...different to quite the other end of the scale...I am the eldest of 4 boys, I've taken care of and to a degree...raised my brothers while in my earlier years. Parents worked long hours so it was my duty as such...when I grew tall enough (...literally) , I was working in their Take Away Shop...later when they had a restaurant...i worked there too. My brothers mainly worked in the restaurant part time too, when times were tough...however...that's kinda where my bitterness begins.
Since my early teens, I've pretty much worked weekends...week in, week out, year in, year out...getting a weekend off to go socialise with my friends was like swearing at my folks! You see, back in the Take Away days, Bro 1 and I took alternative weekends at work...(or at least it started that way...)...it was alright, I had two weekends in each month to do whatever I wanted...or so I thought...
When he wanted to go to his friend's party or something...I was told to cover. When he had is football or badminton games...I was told to cover. When he didn't "feel" like working...I was told to cover.
When I wanted to socialise with my friends...I was effectively told to fuck off and get to work because nobody could cover. When I had my martial arts lessons or wanted to go to a martial arts seminar...I was effectively told to fuck off and get to work because nobody could cover. ONLY when I was ill would ANYONE say..."alright you take a day off work"...seriously...a day...people don't be ill for one day and recover on the next. Its not like a am a computer than has a virus...you run an anti-virus programme and I'll just "be better!"
When they had the restaurant...it was pretty much the end of my non-existent, shred of social-life. From later years of High School...right through University...I worked part-time on weekends...and full time during the holidays. During tourist season...I literally finish Uni at 5pm, rush back home, drop things off, get changed and rush back to the restaurant by 6pm...
Every penny I earned from work was literally spend on myself getting to and from Uni and materials for my course.
When I graduated back in 2008...guess where I worked? Yes, restaurant...from 2008 till July 29th 2013, I've been there full time. I took care of anything and everything that was wrong or needed to be dealt with.
My younger brothers on the other hand...can go through Uni without needing to fund themselves financially because my folks would give them money every month...when they spent it, they could ask for more and more will be given...
For reasons unknown to me, I seem to be the black sheep of the "family". If I ever asked for anything, its met with a massive (metaphoric) slap to my face swiftly followed by a "HELL NO". After some kind of talking me down, its then followed by "you are useless" and "why can't you be more like your brother!?"
1) I FUCKING GAVE UP A LIFE TO KEEP YOUR BUSINESS RUNNING YET YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO SAY THAT I, AM, "USELESS"!?
2) "WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE YOUR BROTHER?!" How about...I am NOT my brother. How about...I am Hakuren?!
Who the FUCK did you think looked after YOUR businesses when YOU TWO FUCK FACES wanted to FUCK OFF SOMEWHERE ON HOLIDAY WITH MY BROTHERS?!!??!?! ME. WHO THE FUCK TOOK CARE OF ANY PLUMBING, ELECTRICAL, BILLS OR OTHER SHIT THAT NEEDED DEALT WITH WHEN YOU WERE SOMEWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD ENJOYING YOURSELVES?!?! ME!!!!!
YOU SOLD YOUR BUSINESS TO SOME DUMB FUCKS AND EFFECTIVELY SOLD ME WITH IT TO THEM BECAUSE "They will need somebody to teach them the ropes blah blah blah"
Yet I am the useless one...really? Me? Useless? The one who gave about 10 years of his life to your business...useless? Any accomplishments I have is completely out shined by any tiny thing my brothers do...
I CAN ONLY SAY THIS.
FUCK YOU. FUCK YOUR BUSINESS. FUCK THE PEOPLE YOU SOLD IT TO BECAUSE I HATE THEIR LIVING GUTS! FUCK THAT PRISON YOU HELD ME IN SO LONG FOR!!!
As soon as I said I got a job as a Sales Executive...I saw the look of disapproval...disappointment and disgust. "SALES!? That's not even a real industry or do people earn a living from!"
It'll be my first REAL job you bastards, must you piss and shit on EVERY LITTLE THING THAT MAKES ME FEEL SLIGHTLY GOOD ABOUT MYSELF FROM?!?!?!?!
I will enjoy it and earn from it! Support myself and move the fuck out your place! Then you can deal with your own shit or get one of YOUR proud three sons to try and sort it. I never much felt like one of your sons...I'll fend for myself.
I am "sorry" that I am not an engineer like Bro 1, I am "sorry" that I ain't a computer programmer like Bro 2 and I am "sorry" that I can't be like Bro 3 who is heading to University to do "Chemistry/Pharmaceuticals"
I apologise for ONLY studying Biology and was only able to run your little empire!
Maybe when I succeed from this job and move out the house, you'll be happy to have the "useless" one out of the way.
If any smart ass wonders why am I ranting on a Blog instead of "talking" to my parents about "HOW I FEEL". Then go jump off a cliff! Short answer is I AM NOT one of my brothers.
Hey man. It's good to express yourself and it's better late than never.
ReplyDeleteYour family passing the business on is certainly a good step forward. I'm sure your parents didn't want any of their kids to stay in the restaurant business if all their kids can one day make money themselves in a way where you can inspire others, hence the "SALES!? That's not even a real industry or do people earn a living from!" comment.
Can you work a notice so you can focus on what you want to do and have a lifestyle you so desire? Some of those comments from the family can certainly be expressed in a different way. Been there, heard it all. But the positive thing is, it's their poor way to show you they want you to aim high. In their heart, you love you dearly and expect you to know. They probably believe pressure and negativity will encourage you to prove them wrong. Unfortunately, you can't change their way of "encouragement" because they don't have enough time to think/feel from your perspective, but it's not meant to harm.
Work your notice, think positive, then go and find your feet and work away and come back in 5-10 years and show them what you achieved and how much an inspiration you are to others. :)
Sadly, negative comments and criticism is dominantly all I was given! If you take Bro 1, he got the complete opposite, the full package + bonuses! Positive encouragement, mental and emotional support...
DeleteSadly these guys say what they mean and I feel nothing but negative feelings back towards them! Is it really me fault? NOPE, my argument is; "thats all you ever given me so here's your results!"
Plus they have the cheek to ask "what happened" to me...hahaha, come on, are you guys SERIOUSLY asking "WHY" I don't talk to you anymore?!?!?!?!!?!